Whispers of Truth

The pulling of the edges together afterwards doesn’t work— They just don’t match anymore after their jagged tearing. And I miss what I used to think was whole. It is different, this repairing in another configuration than the original. Normal used to be comfortable but now is no more. New, yes.  Necessary, absolutely.  But definitely not normal. When the mending finally occurs, I wonder why I resisted to begin with. This is better than the original version.  Better than normal. I think to myself, “Next time I will know not to resist.” But the next time comes, and still I pull back, Grasping desperately at the edges of what used to be, holding on to the old. Reluctant. Fearful.  But then I remember the last mending. And I submit to the repairing of my soul. kbp

Today in my devotion time, I came across a word that led me to another word. Can I say that this is my usual, lifelong problem in reading dictionary entries . . . I have a hard time stopping.  It’s a real problem. ☺ The word connected to the word I was looking up about the tabernacle was skeuos . In the Greek, this word carries the meaning “of uncertain affinity; a vessel, implement, equipment or apparatus (literal or figurative [specifically a wife as contributing to the usefulness of the husband]):--goods, sail, stuff, vessel.” I got caught immediately in the first part: “uncertain affinity.”  Uncertain means “not able to be relied on; not known or definite.” Affinity means “a spontaneous or natural liking or sympathy for someone or something.” Putting these two words together is something of an oxymoron, which in the Greek literally means “pointedly foolish” because of its seeming contradiction. How in the world can you have an affinity for something you don’t know? How can it b

As our Bible study group dives into a new study this week, you can expect to see some posts about it as I try to process. Writing helps, so bear with me as we take Mark apart. Mark, the shortest of the gospels, focuses on Jesus' servanthood.   I don’t know about y’all, but most of the time I stink at serving others. I know that it is more my motivation to get started than anything because once I get begin, I usually enjoy serving. Then I don’t know when to quit—the momentum (once finally set in motion) drives me—impels me forward. Ask my husband. We rarely have people over any more, but I love it once it is set in motion. Getting me to move though . . . The question for me is how to get started. How do I become more motivated to serve--to open my life to others when  there's just something in me that is reluctant to engage in beginning (my selfishness more than anything). What is it that stops the motion forward? The what ifs, maybe? What if they reject me? What if I c