Never Solitary (1 Chronicles 5:18-26)

Never Solitary 

I've got this, I think,
Feeling the illusion of power from a victory won, 
Forgetting I cried out to God for help in the midst of the battle,
A battle that raged in a war that was God's, a war He ultimately won,

Dropping the enemy at my feet, dead, no longer a threat.

I get a little farther away from this truth and face a new battle,
Deciding to use my own strength this time,
Flexing well-developed muscles and a mind made for war.
This battle's mine, I reason, worth the risk,
Thinking no one else could possibly be affected. 

I hold my battle close, petting it, toying with it, admiring it,
Letting it take root and grow
Until it fills my life from edge to edge
And its taproot runs 
d
e
e
p
beneath me, 
Anchoring me to the sin that so easily besets me,
And drawing others into the shade that now seems so appealing.

Suddenly, my enemies surrounded me, and my new sin turned on me.

My unfaithfulness, catching hold of me, held me tightly,

Dragging this formerly valiant warrior towards captivity, toward destruction.

The fault is mine, I reason, and it makes me feel sick,
Understanding that sin doesn’t obey boundaries
But spreads like a cancer that kills.

Desperate to be free, I cry out 
Knowing that I cannot tear myself loose using my strength alone;
It will take something far bigger than me to work this out.
I cry out to God knowing that He can and will save,
That He can and will forgive.
I cry out, even knowing that it will still hurt, this p u l l i n g  f  r  e  e,
But finally, the taproot gives, and the release begins to come, 

The amputation of this beloved sin in my life causing me prolonged agony,

And I realize my mistake in ever thinking I was alone.

The war had been God's, but the battle had been mine; 

Unknowingly, I had offered victory to the enemy when I tried to stand alone.

kbp

Yes, that's another poem, but my reading inspired it. I have been looking at the genealogies of Chronicles 1. I can hear the groan now as you think about how dry that must be. Poetry? Genealogies? Yup. I find that genealogies, if I persistently look at them with the Spirit's help, yield much reward. Chapter five ends with the sons of Reuben, the Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh, "44,760 valiant men able to bear shield and sword, to shoot with the bow, and skillful in war" (v. 18, NKJV). And they made war with their enemies, crying out to God IN the battle. God hears the prayer, answers the call, and takes the war as His own, many of the enemy falling dead. The result is peaceful dwelling in the place God had given them, until the Assyrian captivity.

The next section is the one that gives me pause. The complete reliance of these men, these warriors, upon God begins to slip. Sin enters the camp of the family of the half-tribe of Maneasseh. It becomes commonplace, normal, taking over until these "mighty men of valor, famous men, and heads of their fathers' houses" (v. 24) become unfaithful to the God of their Fathers, who had given them their land to dwell upon, their strength to fight, and the victory that had resulted in battles and wars needed in order to remain there. Their sin was "playing the harlot after the gods of the peoples of the land, whom God had destroyed before them" (v. 25).

So after much warning (because punishment is only good if you know what it is for, and God had told them many times through judges and prophets what the consequences would be), God sends the Assyrian king to carry not only them, but also their fellow tribes of Reuben and the Gadites, who dwelt among them, into captivity. 

The sin, which so easily besets us, doesn't just affect us. There is always fallout, others who reap the benefit of the sin we've sown. Denial doesn't matter--the reality is clear here. The zone of proximity of the sin of idolatry expands rapidly and consumes all in its midst. 

But God, rich in His mercy, brings a remnant back to the land He has given them after captivity. God, rich in His mercy, offers discipline rather than turning a blind eye and leaving them to their sin and the consequences of it. 

The same is true for us. Our sin easily besets us (Heb. 12:1), captivates us, and consumes us, but if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us of that sin and to purify us from it (1 Jn. 1:9). He forgets the sin and throws it away and never looks upon it again (Is. 38:17). Unlike me in my struggle to forgive when offended, God forgives and separates us completely from our sin (as far as the East is from the West, Ps. 103:12). 

Do I want to sin? No. (Yes? Probably. But not really.) The struggle is real and ongoing, the opportunities many; the reality, I need to confess my sin and not look back toward it ever, but instead, continue to move toward the ONE who is able to deliver me completely, to refocus me, to change my life from the inside out one day at a time, one step at a time, one thought at a time, my heart . . . never ever alone, never solitary.