I Intend (Ps. 17)

“I intend that my mouth will not transgress” (Ps. 17:3d). Then I open my mouth. 

Depending on the situation, I am too soft spoken, too brash, too loud, too bashful, too confident, too insecure, too, too, too . . . and I sin. Often. When I open my mouth. So I intend that my mouth will not be opened, no matter what. 

Then my mouth opens anyway as if of its own accord. And words come out. Even when words don’t come out, there are thoughts lurking in there waiting to burst forth, indignant words full of hurt, self-righteousness, and arrogance, angry thoughts exploding at the seams with all the sin contained in my flesh. Selfish thoughts with single-minded focus on winning. And so I decide the flesh is the problem. 

I know this truth. As long as I dwell in this flesh, this mortal body, there will be this constant struggle between what I want to be, what I know is the standard, what I long for, and the reality of the battle of spirit and flesh within me. So I soak in the Word daily like one would soak in a bathtub after a long day working outside—plenty of hot water, lots of bubbles, a clean washcloth to scrub away the dirt, staying there until pruniness [yes, I made that word up] occurs, finishing with a rinse of clean water and wrapping in a warm towel. The healing, regenerative power of the Word to renew and cleanse is more than enough. It is all I need. The blood of Jesus cleanses me when I open my heart to the conviction of the Spirit through the Word of God. Confession. Forgiveness. Ahhh! Clean. Then I start again, finding trouble here at every turn, yet knowing in the heart of me that God is sovereign over that as well and that my struggles are working things out in me here and now for my good. And fortunately not all at once. Small bits of fleshly trouble that seem overwhelming would be unimaginably horrific if stitched together into one piece. I know this. I remind myself of this. No human escapes the troubles of Adam in this world.

David constantly poured out his soul to the Lord, his troubles bursting forth from his heart before God, trusting He would handle the issues David had with men, the conflicts that arose because of the position God had placed him in as his anointed one, the future king of Israel. The petty jealousies of men, the troubles of David’s life spent fleeing evil, the concerns of his heart, the very real problems that he encountered daily drove him continuously toward God, not away from Him. I have to ask myself, do the concerns of this world do the same for me? They should. I cannot imagine that God would determine for them to do less than drive me to Him. It is the best thing I can imagine to be driven safely ashore in the midst of a storm instead of letting my very small rudder direct the ship I dwell in. 

In Psalm 17 David asks for the Lord to do the necessary confronting, for God to take care of the problem of his oppressors (v. 13). He asks the Lord to save his soul from the wicked with His sword, completely trusting Him to do so. Then he makes an interesting note about these wicked men. They are “of the world,” working for and enjoying the things that cannot satisfy as the Lord satisfies, eating the delicacies, the culinary delights rather than delighting in the fatness or abundance of the Lord (Is. 55:2) We know that if we trust in Him only for this life, we are most to be pitied, according to Paul (1 Cor. 15:9). This world is not about living our best life now but about living for Him now that we may freely enjoy eternity with Him, which is without doubt a much better deal. I am trading the seen for the unseen daily. The things of this life will gladly consume if allowed, even the blessings, which can distract from the goodness of the Lord, and He knows I am easily distracted. These things are temporal. They will only lead to more discontent, more need, more grasping before we die and leave them to others who will then have the same issues. Satisfaction cannot be found in anything in this world apart from Christ in me, the hope of glory (Col. 1:27).

So this I know: while I live in this fleshly tent, the words of my heart will always overflow into my mouth and spill out, whether vocalized or not. I want to be able to say with David that “as for me, I shall see Your face in righteousness; I will be fully satisfied when I awake to find myself seeing Your likeness” (Ps. 17:16, AMP). So when I find discontent in my heart, I want to be sure to put it to death with the sword of the Word, trusting God to kill the thoughts within my heart as well as protect me from the dangers of the Enemy lurking and stalking and tempting. I will continue to say, like David, “I intend that my mouth will not transgress” while I wait to awake satisfied one day soon solely with His presence.