Pressed But Pressing On (Luke 1, Philippians 3)

Hear and believe. It sounds simple. Learn the Word and walk it out in the faith given me. How hard can this be to do? Right?

The reality is often quite different and much more difficult. When faced with the cares of the world and the reality of picking up my cross daily and following where He would lead me, the answer to how hard can this be becomes quickly evident in my blatant failures.

I came to Christ as a 12-year-old girl, sheltered, untested, protected, safe, and very ignorant of the Word, even though I received my first Bible and started reading it as a 9-year-old (without a whole lot of understanding). I grew in knowledge (a little), became stretched by life (a lot), and learned to depend on God to lead me by His Word. It seems the lesson I am still learning is the part about picking up my cross and following. I fail in one area particularly— immediately responding in faith and following when my husband feels convicted to do something hard and costly to me as well. At that point I reverse gears from my rather impetuous self and suddenly want to become what he is by nature, analytical, slow to act until all the information is in, a bit doubtful of acting too soon (no buyer’s remorse). The problem is that my reversal becomes a lack of submission to go where the LORD would lead me through my husband, who loves Him dearly and listens well.

Sigh. (Mine is loud right now. I know you heard it.) 

I want to do better, but if I am honest, I don’t want doing better to really cost me anything, to inconvenience me, and I want all the answers first. I want to KNOW what it is that I am jumping in to before I take a leap of faith. That really isn’t faith though; it is fear, and I don’t want to have cowardly faith, which is really no faith at all.

So what is the answer? If I keep doing the same thing over and over again and it isn’t working but I still expect different results, that’s pretty much a definition of insanity, which means I need to change my perspective, my understanding, my application in some way. Truly, I need to change my obedience level, which comes from my heart. And I find in me a heart that does not really want to submit, which is only a part of the issue; I also find in me a heart that doesn’t truly believe that it will work out for me, looking back to the past instead of keeping my eyes on Christ. My self interest keeps me from obedience, which does not in any way demonstrate faith. This is not where I want to be, and I have had to confess that to the LORD. Again.

These thoughts of mine might make you uncomfortable this morning. The good LORD knows they make me uncomfortable in wrestling with them and even putting them into words and acknowledging my struggles, but the reality is this wrestling is necessary, and just maybe, my wrestling will help you in some way.

The LORD is always good to give guidance through the Spirit in His Word. As I read this morning through the opening chapter of Luke again, I saw my struggle in Zechariah’s. He wanted to believe that the words of the angel the Lord had sent to Him to speak the truth of what was to come. Zechariah understood his role in ministering before the Lord, but like many of us, it had been so long since he really expected his worship to lead to an encounter with the living God that he was a bit overwhelmed and unprepared and unbelieving when the angel spoke to him. 

I read God’s Word with a hunger now that I have never had before. I need it daily like food, thus my frustration when the application of what I am ingesting fails due to my own lack of faith and obedience due to my flesh. I know my sin has consequences, and I am a Peter, sure I won’t fail Christ (until I do). And I do. And He lovingly restores me when I repent, when I confess my sin. I want to cling to Him so tightly that I don’t question what He puts in my life, that I follow Him with unwavering obedience. Instant, heart-felt obedience. No delay. No repentance required. Just faith walking toward the goal of this upward call in Christ Jesus. Especially as one who teaches others; I know much is required because I have been given so much! And now I recall Philippians 3 again, this whole chapter that begins with Paul’s reminder that it is not a problem to repeat himself as a safeguard for us, that we should put no trust in the flesh (Is that what I am wanting—a flesh that won’t fail?) as everything I can do on my own is pure rubbish anyway, but instead glory in Christ Jesus, who has made me His own? I have read it; I know it; I truly want to own this:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. v 12-16, ESV

When I read on in Luke 1, I see Mary’s simple faith. She hears the startling Word of God given through Gabriel and immediately agrees with it, subjecting herself to God’s will for her life, whatever that might look like in her inability to comprehend the consequences. I want this! God is still working on me, and I will keep looking to Him while I breathe. I know that He is enough. The faith He has given me is enough. I will fail again, but I know I am being transformed by the Word, even if I am like Zechariah, believing doubtfully at times, unable to comprehend, or like Peter, believing with much zeal until application is required. But each of them did not stay in that state. Zechariah gave glory to God and prophesied about the Messiah to come. Peter walked in faith and restoration, a rock of the early church, just as Christ had said, even though Satan sifted Him. Christ prayed for him just as He prays and intercedes for me.

My flesh if indulged would have me walk as an enemy of Christ whose end is destruction and whose god is the belly, and with a mind set on earthly things, temporal things, but I know that my citizenship is in heaven, and I await my Savior, the LORD Jesus Christ, who will transform this lowly body to be like his glorious one, and He will do it with a power that enables Him to subject everything to Himself (v 18-21). 

Lord, please help me hold forget what is behind, strain for what’s ahead, press on toward the goal, be mature in my thinking and actions as I hold true to what I have already know and have attained.