Decisions

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When God speaks to my heart I don’t always listen the first time…or the second time…or the third time—especially if the message isn’t something I want to hear.  Through the events of this year, I feel God has tried to impress on me the value of time spent for Him versus time spent for me. Even when I choose to spend my time wisely, it doesn’t necessarily mean that God is pleased with my choice, particularly if I didn’t consult Him first. So what did I do with this message that my husband has probably wished to beat into me multiple times over the past twenty years (but hasn’t)? I ignored it, of course, like I usually do. The end result being that I have felt frustrated, worn out, and even defeated although I am doing things that have value.
The last few days God has been speaking to me again, but I haven’t really wanted to listen. When I’m in that mood, one of two things usually happens. I either ignore His whispering until my heart hardens against what He’s trying to say, or I eventually acquiesce to His calling upon my heart and my life. Here are the two things He’s been saying to me (again) the last few days:
  1. Decisions are important and have long-lasting consequences.
  2. Learn to say no—or at least ask for time to pray about decisions instead of feeling pressured to do every “good” thing that comes my way.
The first one appeared not only in the Sunday school quarterly for this week’s lesson, which my husband mysteriously wanted to discuss yesterday for the better part of an hour, but also aired as part of Nancy Leigh Demoss’s radio program yesterday for the exact amount of time I was in my vehicle rushing to the store on an “urgent” time-sensitive mission. If that wasn’t enough, I asked my daughter today to bring me a book to read while I had some time, and she comes back with a book for young women featuring the importance of making wise decisions and waiting for God’s timing.  As I turned the last page of the short book, I came across the author’s message, which seemed timely for the subject at hand. It was taken from Galatians 6:4 (The Message) and says, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Maybe I didn’t mention it, but God has also been doing a work over the last few years about what my identity is and where it should be found.  The obvious answer is in Him. Duh! I know this, and maybe it seems like a no-brainer, but often living out truth is much harder than realizing what Truth is.
            Take the example of Jesus with the rich young ruler (Mark 10: 17).  That young man recognized truth embodied in Jesus (Mark 10:18), but living out Truth was another matter entirely (Mark 10:21). Although he desperately wanted the treasures of eternal life with Jesus, he was unwilling to lay down the apparently vast treasures of his earthly life. Simply stated, he let “stuff” get between him and eternal life spent in the presence of Jesus. Jesus said that it is hard for rich people to get into God’s kingdom. It is, isn’t it?  It’s easier to just drift along with the rest of the world and never really identify who we are in Christ than to take a stand for Him and do whatever He asks of us; that’s scary! Fortunately, when the disciples were wondering who could possibly be saved if it’s so hard for the rich to get into God’s kingdom, Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). That is the encouragement God has given me with His persistence in the face of my rebellion. Even when I am kicking against the goads of this world and resisting what is really best for me, He loves me enough to keep sending me the same message until I get it. I am His, and my time is His. My decisions should be as well. There. That wasn’t so hard. I said it. Now I have to live it…

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