Contentious Women

If you’re a woman and you’ve ever had a bad day, raise your hand. Higher . . . I KNOW that there is someone out there besides me who’s had one or more of these. If you’re married and you’ve experienced this, raise both hands. Could I have an amen, sister? Sometimes it’s just plain hard to share common space with others, whether it be a cubicle, a room, or a house, but let a woman have a (Shall I say it?) “hormonal” (translates “really bad”) day then it’s just a whole ‘nother story. The Bible shares some wisdom for the co-workers, husbands, and family members in the lives of women having “bad hair days.” Apparently Solomon, because of his seven hundred wives and concubines (Can you imagine?), had a lion’s share of wisdom about how to deal with women in this condition, and trust me, he needed every particle of it to survive. Let’s take a look at what he says. In Proverbs 19:13 he first compares a contentious wife to a “constant dripping.” In Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24, he says that it would be better to “live in a corner of a roof” than to share a house with a “contentious woman” (NASB). Apparently, when these proverbs were first spoken, he’d had his fill of contentious women because six verses later he says that it would be better to live in a “desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman” (emphasis mine). The situation has quickly degenerated, hasn’t it? A few chapters later he compares the “constant dripping on a day of steady rain” with a contentious woman and goes on to say that holding her back is like trying to “restrain the wind” or “grasp oil with his right hand” (27:15-16). I’d like to think I’m not that bad, but there are days when I probably am, and I’m sure my husband of twenty years can relate well. Reading these proverbs makes me understand why Proverbs 31 is at the end of the book; as Lemuel says, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels” (vs. 10). Lest you get the wrong impression of poor Solomon, read some of the suggestions he has for women who want to avoid being described as contentious:

1.      Tie truth and kindness around your neck so you won’t lose them (3:3).

2.      Guard your heart because if you don’t nasty stuff will come out of it (4:23).

3.      Don’t shame your husband (12:4).

4.      Build your house instead of tearing it down with your own two hands (14:1).

5.      Stay calm—extreme agitation makes your bones rot (14:30).

6.      Don’t love stuff more than God or your husband (15:16).

7.      Encourage your man (25:11).

8.      Have self-control (29:11).

9.      Don’t churn your anger (30:33).

10.  Be trustworthy (31:11). 

I don’t know about you, but contentious as a descriptor just doesn’t work for me. There will be bad hair days and hormonal days in our lives, but how we deal with them really matters. Don't be contentious!