Wading in the Shallows of Gratitude (Jonah 1-4)

I read from Jonah Wednesday morning before the writing conference began. Jonah ran from God — a familiar story to many — but Jonah’s departure into shallow waters of gratitude after God saves him from the consequences of his own rebellion spoke to me this time through.

Jonah thinks he knows better than God, and in his pride, which typically breeds rebellion in us humans, he runs from the presence of God in an opposing direction than God has commanded him to go. In his mind he has good reason to disobey (Don't we always?): He runs because He knows God well. He understands that when he obeys God’s command and goes, God will work in the repentance that will occur in the wicked Ninevites, whom Jonah hates, maybe even with good reason. 

Jonah disobeys knowing God is more powerful than he. In his fear of God, he runs knowing that he will not be able to thwart God’s will, yet he runs anyway, forgetting what God has done for him in his sinful, rebellious state of existence, in His call upon Jonah’s life. When Jonah understands the irresistible will of His heavenly Father, he asks the sailors to throw his sorry hide off the ship so that they may be saved, and he hopes maybe that he will find another avenue of escape from obeying God in the depths of the sea, in death itself.

Three long days of rebellion later, after three miserable nights spent in the belly of a great fish God sends to swallow up Jonah, after sinking lower (literally and spiritually) than he ever thought he could, Jonah, wrapped in weeds, surrounded by stinky whale-belly water and torn, decomposing fish guts, resting underneath the breakers of the sea, comes to his senses and cries out to the LORD his God, remembering, knowing He could look to Him and live, and vowing to sacrifice to God the only thing he has left at the moment—thanksgiving.

And God listens to Jonah, just as Jonah knows He will listen to the Ninevites, and commands the great fish to spew Jonah in a pool of vomit on the shores of dry land. And God speaks again, commanding him to go proclaim His wrath soon to be poured out on the city. 

Jonah’s thankfulness still hasn’t worn off. He rises and goes to the exceedingly great city of Ninevah and speaks the truth that God plans to overthrow Ninevah in only 40 days. 

Day one finds every person in the city of Ninevah clothed in sackcloth at the king's command and sitting on a bed of ashes, fasting in repentance in the hope that God will hear and relent from his burning anger.

Day one finds God seeing and hearing their repentance and relenting.

Day one finds a Jonah no longer grateful, forgetting his vow of thankfulness and remembering why he didn’t want to come in the first place. He goes back to what he knows of God’s compassion and faithfulness and power and understands that his attempt to thwart God’s plan has failed utterly, just as he had known it would. His words paraphrased: I knew God that you are far too gracious and compassionate and slow to anger with way too much lovingkindness and willingness to forego your wrath and punishment for them not to repent, so just kill me now—I’d rather be dead. Take 2.

God’s question: “Do you have good reason to be angry, Jonah?”

Jonah, however, instead answering God, goes and waits and watches east of the city (spiritually indicating a removal from God's presence, just as Adam and Eve head east out of the Garden of Eden after their fall), waiting for the show. Instead of answering God's straight-forward question, Jonah’s pouting resistance to God’s will finds comfort in a shading vine. Still. Not. Thankful. His vow of gratitude unpaid.

God’s response: “Little worm, go eat Jonah’s vine! Maybe then he will remember his vow of gratitude and repent.”

Instead of repenting and remembering his vow of thankfulness, Jonah sticks his lip out a little farther, his priorities skewed even farther now as he focuses on his discomfort, his reputation as a prophet shattering before his very eyes. "Remember that test of the prophet, Lord?" he might have grumbled on the inside. "I am about to be without reputation as a prophet, but I am going to sit here and watch while my life finishes crumbling to pieces. If you cared about me, Lord, you would just incinerate the whole place! Then people would know I am a prophet." [It plays on repeat, like sinful thoughts tend to do, often focusing on our comfort at others' expense.]

God’s response: “East Wind, go and blow the scorching sun’s heat upon Jonah’s head all day today! Grant him no reprieve of coolness. Maybe then he will remember his vow of gratitude and repent.”

Jonah forgot in his anger and disappointment with God how to be thankful and repeated instead that he would rather be dead, going so far as to beg "with all his soul to die." [We think death would be kinder sometimes than what we are experiencing, clueless and lost in our sin and rebellion, not realizing God's kindness towards us in allowing us the chance to live another day, to breathe in His grace and breathe out repentance and live well.]

God’s patient, questioning reminder: Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant, Jonah?”

Jonah affirms that he does, foolishly saying, “I have good reason to be angry, even to death.” [Oh, how we justify our sinful states, which seem reasonable to our minds.]

God’s honest response to Jonah's nonsense: “Jonah, you are foolishly wasting your compassion on a plant that you didn’t deserve and didn’t cause to grow up over you. Instead you’re pouting because I am rewarding the repentance of a city that contains 120,000 little ones as well as many animals!” 

Jonah’s dumb response: We are not told how Jonah responds. God leaves the story open-ended, allowing us to insert ourselves here. It isn’t for the faint of heart!

I must ask myself today if I am angry at God for not giving me something I thought I needed or wanted OR giving me something I really don’t want in my life. Am I holding a grudge against the God of the universe? Am I pettily denying others the same right to compassion that I hold dear, that I expect from God? Am I fulfilling my vows of gratitude or do I wade around in the shallows, fearing to dive deep in obedience to God’s commands of me, whatever they are? Am I holding on to resentment and longing for a death that I am not truly ready for because my sight is occluded by the sin I am carrying around? These are not easy questions with quick answers, but I know the answers are there, waiting for me to turn on the light and see them hovering on the edges of my soul. They are waiting for me to look, to truly see. 

Maybe the better question each day is will I even turn on the light, directing myself to the Word that illuminates what is hidden deep within, showing me the ugly, revealing my hidden pride, my lack of gratitude and compassion.